... into a walking corporate billboard. It says to the world,
"My
identity is so wrapped up in what I buy that I paid the company
to
advertise its products"
Know what I pray for? The strength to change what I can, the inability
to
accept what I can't and the incapacity to tell the difference.
As usual, goodness hardly puts up a fight.
If we don't all watch the same TV, what will keep our culture
homogeneous?
My behaviour is addictive functioning in a disease process of
toxic
co-dependency. I need holistic healing and wellness before I'll
accept any responsibility for my actions.
My family is dysfunctional and my parents won't empower me.
Consequently I'm not self actualized.
Nothing I do is my fault.
Why should I have to work for everything? It's like saying that
I don't
deserve it.
Why do we drink cow's milk? Who was the first guy who first looked
at a cow
and said "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things
when I
squeeze 'em!"?
Hobbes : What if the public doesn't like your work?
Calvin : They are not supposed to like it. This is avant-garde
stuff!
I'm criticizing the low brows who can't appreciate great art
like
this!
I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have
the
slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway.
The dame was hysterical. Dames Usually are.
-- Calvin as Tracer Bullet
Thank you. before I begin, I'd like everyone to notice that my
report is
in a professional, clear plastic binder...When a report looks
this
good, you know it'll get an A. That's a tip kids. Write it down.
Calvin : I think we have got enough information now, don't you?
Hobbes : All we have is one "fact" that you made up.
Calvin : That's plenty. By the time we add an introduction, a
few
illustrations and a conclusion, it'll look like a graduate thesis.
Wormwood : Calvin, how about you?
Calvin : Hard to say ma'am. I think my cerebellum just fused.
If you want to stay dad you've got to polish your image. I think
the image
we need to create for you is "repentant but learning".
"Dad buried in landslide! Jubilant throngs fill streets! Stunned
father inconsolable - demands recount!"
Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then
suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made. But
it is too
late to change anything.
Sometimes it seems things go by too quickly. We are so busy watching
out
for what's just ahead of us that we don't take the time to enjoy
where we
are.
Hobbes : Well, you still have afternoons and weekends
Calvin : That's when I watch TV.
Hobbes : Shouldn't we read the instructions?
Calvin : Do I look like a sissy?
You know what we need, Hobbes? We need an attitude. Yeah, you
can't be
cool if you don't have an attitude.
Why can't I ever build character at a Miami condo or a casino
somewhere?
Sometimes one should just look at things and think about things
without
doing things.
What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe with lassie?
A melon-collie baby! Get it?? HA HA HA OH OH HA HA!
Hobbes : How is the diorama coming along?
Calvin : I'm almost finished.
Hobbes : I don't see the roadrunner. Weren't you going to put
one in?
Calvin : See the cotton balls I glued down?
Hobbes : Yeah?
Calvin : The roadrunner just ran out of the scene leaving behind
clouds
of dust!
It must be awful to be a girl. I'm sure it's frustrating knowing
that men
are bigger, stronger and better at abstract thought than women.
Really, if you are a girl, what would make you go on living?
--Calvin, Dictator-For-Life, of GROSS (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS)
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Golly, I'd hate to have a kid like me!
This is so cool I've to go to the bathroom.
I imagine girls and bugs have a dim perception that nature played
a cruel
trick on them but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend
the
magnitude of it.
Dad are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my
accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some
way
compensate for all the opportunities you botched ?
If you care, you just get disappointed all the time. If you don't
care
nothing matters so you are never upset.
Life is full of surprises but never when you need one.
I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning
and
happiness.
"The dynamics of inter-being and mono logical imperatives in Dick
and
Jane : A study in psychic transrelational gender modes". Academia,
here I come.
Miss Wormwood : Calvin where was the Byzantine empire?
Calvin : I'll take "outer planets" for $100.
How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got
bored?
I thrive on change... I thrive on making other people change.
Be careful or be road-kill.
A good compromise leaves everyone mad.
Given that sooner or later we're all just going to die, what's
the point of
learning about integers?
Miss Wormwood, could we arrange our seats in a little circle and
have a
little discussion? Specifically, I'd like to debate whether
cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders since
it is less
wasteful.
The only skills I have patience to learn are those that have no
real
application in life.